the garden

in my next life...

...i choose to be a swift
living life joyously on the wing
above it all.
Like the ones i shared here many years ago
"dropping" into our chimney
where they nested in the chinks

Seriously.

i'm sure that it is refreshingly cool, too
up there where they zip about
harvesting their meals
and having so much fun flying wing-tip to wing-tip with each other.

Because
down here
the sun hates me.
i'm sure of it.
It is determined to burn me and my garden alive
melting us into submission.

In case it's not obvious:
We are having one of our heat waves

UGH

i can hardly stand them anymore...
just getting way too old for blazing heat
and i'm realizing that
perhaps the biggest mistake of my life
so far
is that i did not emigrate to the UK
where 80 degrees F is considered a very hot day
and so many long for more warmth
more sun.

Looking at a map of this massive country
one thing is painfully clear:
90% of it is threatened with harsh and very often severe, threatening
summer weather
every single year.
Heartbreaking news every day, it seems
about massive, deadly tornados
and floods
and droughts
and deadly insects lurking everywhere
and now  the annual wildfires!

Summer is always portrayed as a
glorious, golden, carefree season
when, in truth
it is far more often more destructive
and deadlier
than winter.

okay...
if you are still reading this
and have not turned away from my whining...
Thank you for listening
again
to my rant.
i do feel better for getting that off my chest.

And please know that i am chastened and humbled
knowing there are thousands of innocents expriencing
the worst of Nature's wrath
in the "heartland" of this place...

i marvel at the strength of their hearts
their resiliency
and their trial is one of the main reasons i look at the harsh
burning light out there today
and wish it would calm down.

It isn't that i do not love what the sun can do
when it seems to care and caress
and sculpt
and
i do realize
light is life

The late Beloved Obadiah and me, a long time ago...

i simply wish that the sun wasn't so harsh, so often...

 

Heavenly Grass

My feet took a walk in heavenly grass.
All day while the sky shone clear as glass.
My feet took a walk in heavenly grass,
All night while the lonesome stars rolled past.
Then my feet come down to walk on earth,
And my mother cried when she give me birth.
Now my feet walk far and my feet walk fast,
But they still got an itch for heavenly grass.
But they still got an itch for heavenly grass.
                                                                                            Tennessee Williams

Thank you again.
i do feel better for having "shared my misery".
i am so aware that it is time now
to hurry off and begin counting the massive pile of blessings that is my life...
truly the only way to combat the darkness that too much hot sun
germinates in this heart.

Life begins again

You know me
i do not tolerate days upon weeks upon months
of extreme heat and little to no rain.
But that's exactly what our summer has been.

Hades rose up from its molten lava pit
grabbed nearly every corner of this vast continent into
its deadly, evil embrace
and would not
it seemed
let go until it sucked the life from every living thing.

i crawled inside my shell weeks ago
managed only to accomplish the bare minimums.

It was not just me and my need for
mild summer days and frequent blessings from rain clouds
that had me in a stupor.
Family members out west had cars packed with
emergancy supplies while ash from raging wildfires
rained down upon their homes.

For the most part
i've been numb
(turns out that
even though people whine loudest in winter
more human lives are lost to extreme heat than
any other natural disaster)
and i've learned that numbness has an upside or two:
it allows one to focus on small things

and forget the overwhelming and devastating
"bigger picture"
and stop ranting in frustration that i have zero ability
to make a difference nor any idea when or if it the deadly days will end
(although ranting can feel pretty good, at least compared
to the suffocating anxiety you've been holding back).
One can assume shorter days will cool things off
but
when would the clouds return with their blessings?

Oh. yes. Before i forget, there is another positive:
hauling hose pipe all day long
day after day
is a good upper body workout.
(For all of July we were focusing on saving trees and shrubs
let alone perennials and veg).
While standing, watering
here or at Greenwood
my eyes clung to any beautious thing

Finally, GOOD NEWS:
Fires were "contained"
(not put out, merely kept from spreading
it can take many more days to finally knock down a blaze)
and no one in my family lost their home
or livelihood to fire.

And on Wednesday, July 17
just before some of those family arrived for
a planned visit
and just before my soul gave up its ghost
northwest winds finally blew in and
pushed Hades back down into that ugly place it belongs
at least temporarily.

and
AND
a full inch of precious rain blessed the parched earth
and cool breezes caressed.

We sighed
We cheered!
We went out and stood in it
We talked of nothing else all day long
Dinner that night was a feast of thanksgiving.

Then!!
A few short days later
all manner of blessings were heaped upon us!

This past Monday
July 23
i drove  with visiting family to Liberty State Park and boarded the ferry
to visit Ellis Island and cruise past Lady Liberty.

i confess
in my frustration with politicians
ridiculous governmental interventions
and a populace that is too often apathetic and oblivious
i can become cynical about "This Great Nation".
However, walking through Ellis Island with eyes open
was a deeply moving experience
because you see so many of the incredible faces
of those who gave up everything
to come to where things were better
even if not actually the heaven it was often imagined to be.



(You will forgive me, i hope, for not commenting further re
the blessings vs blatant hypocrisies in this, my homeland...
i simply do not have the energy for wrestling with such thoughts
and such an exercise would defeat me)

in my numb state
(that numbness was not easy to shake off
after all, one good storm doesn't mean "it's all over")
i had forgotten to grab my camera
and for the very first time i was grateful for cell phone technology
and what i call "camera phones"
because it was there on Ellis Island that
i was able to catch a precious little moment of our own family history
as the youngest member
Jaycee, Kelly's granddaughter
the little girl she had always hoped for
stood up from the ground all by herself for the very first time



It was so exciting!! and we all clapped and laughed and clapped some more

these aren't the best pictures i'll ever take
but they are treasures
because the whole time spent with Jaycee and her mom and dad
i could feel Kelly with us




and i just love it when young boy cousins love to hold
their littlest cousin

then
when the boat headed toward the statue
i must admit it
a lump formed in my throat


as i felt very deeply
perhaps for the very first time
what it must have felt like to see her
after leaving everything
and in so many cases
everyone
behind.

Then...
i just couldn't help myself
i rejoiced and nearly danced a little jig
(except for the fact that we were on a little boat that
was doing a gentle dance of its own)
when i realized that all those rain clouds
were coming from the direction of our home!

Dear Reader,
another huge grin spreads across my face as i type the following:
we drove home to discover 1.5 inches of water in the rain gauge!!
But wait!
That's not all!
That evening
more clouds rolled in
turning the last hours dark long before sunset
and the heavens opened up once again!!
A sunny day followed
and
today: more clouds and gentle rain.

our trees, shrubs, and multitude of living beings and i
are very happy to report that
we can breathe again
and for now, at least
life goes on.

Post script:
Last night, July 26
another round of lightning and pouring rain = another inch!!!
Is it really, truly over?