the garden

January 30th

it's been a traditional January
which is to say that everyone is moaning
about the cold, snow and more snow.
They have forgotten.
It really was much more wintery around here in years past.
We've only had 2 weeks so far
of temps hovering below zero and never getting above freezing.
To all of you ready for summer
i apologize for loving the winter like i do
there are those i meet in shops or the library
who seem to believe that my affection for the season
somehow prolongs it.

My inability to stop smiling amidst the swarm of flakes
to scowl and curse the ice
to cry out for hot sunshine
befuddles and bewilders them
they seem insulted that i do not join the mournful choir.
They do not say it, but the question vibrates in the air between us:
"what is wrong with you?"
i suppose it would be less confusing to them
if i strapped skis to the roof of my car
or something

i have skis
but that is not why i love winter.

As i type
i'm watching  titmice and chickadees drink and bathe
in the heated birdbath.
A couple of hours ago
a mob of robins flew in to take their turns at the water.
It did not occur to me to run for the camera.
But i did go out the other day
when the sun made an appearance
and the red stems on the willow
lit up against the afternoon shadows.

willow stems, remnants of last year's oregano and sun on snow:

 

i encourage you to read this inaugural celebration from Maira Kalman

CLICK HERE to view and read in the NYTimes.

January 21st

more magnolia buds
this time with limitless blue sky

January 20th, 2009

Following the devastating loss in our family this month, i could not imagine that i could be lifted as high as i am feeling today. So please forgive me, but i'm taking a moment to celebrate...

From Richard Perry/via the NYTimes, First light of a brand new day:

From Jae C. Hong / AP via MSNBC:

My favorite moments so far this morning:

• The sea of smiling faces in Washington

• Watching and listening to General Colin Powell, who was then joined by Tom Brokaw and Mike Barnacle talking about This Moment In Time on MSNBC. If they rebroadcast that portion of "Morning Joe" on their website, i urge you to listen.

who am i kidding! i will be watching and listening all day and into the night!!

Found on Willow's blog:

Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes, into
Your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning.

from Inaugural Poem by Maya Angelou



"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though
passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection."

Abraham Lincoln

the garden never sleeps

for in the bleak mid winter
with frigid temperatures tweaking the nose
buds are flourishing on the magnolias at Greenwood

taken before the snows
but even now, the buds are still just as full of fire and life

now for two that i "painted" in photoshop, best viewed large
simply click on either, if you wish

January 19th

In the garden with birds.
There are those that walk
and those that hop

i just had to come back and say

Thank You again for all the kind and beautiful words and thoughts here and in emails. i'm surprised at how much better it feels to have finally put words here.
A release...even though i've been writing privately for myself, introducing him to you and documenting this part of the journey here in this blog created for him and me has helped.

i continue to marvel at the richness and power of this sort of penpalship. (yes...i admit it...i spend many hours alone plying my trades...it does show, doesn't it.) i never, ever expected to harvest a sweet little community of new friends. i thought it was just going to be a fun "show and tell" kind of place.

And, i'm sure you are not surprised...when family members were saying to each other "let's write down our stories and memories of Jon," i thought to myself and then said out loud "OK, i'll build a blog...a Life With Jon blog." And folks are really eager for it. This, from me, one of the last on the block to get a computer. The fact that it's a blessing continues to make me smile, eat some words, and mumble over and over again, "thank you."

Dear Friends,

i started this blog several years ago when i saw what artists were doing on the Internet, and how well photographs usually appear in this medium (i've always loved viewing photographs with light passing through them rather than reflecting off their surface). Once i got going, i immediately wished to share it with my Best Friend...my "Best Boy" ...a nephew. He has always been one of my dearest fans and his delight/enjoyment was my chief reward and i was always eager to see what he thought of each post. Then i told a few more "old friends" and then began posting on your blogs and have enjoyed this curiously addicting communication.

Dear Friends of the Internet...The Boy has left us. Not of his own accord. He certainly didn't want to...after all, he had just found the love of his life last spring and married last fall. But...
i've been struggling, trying to find the words to say this without using the words
"his heart failed him"

For a couple of weeks, he prepared himself to be placed on a transplant list. Then "last chance" treatments seemed to be helping. But, that's the way it goes sometimes...just when you think things are getting better...the bottom drops away.

so this is just me trying to say to those of you who have been kind, supportive visitors
i had to say something here
i couldn't just keep posting and not
because this silly little fun thing was first and foremost one of the tender ties between The Boy and me

i know that all of you know this type of hollowness
and i know he knows all too well
loss is something he knew too early, too often
and now again.

There is a list that keeps rolling around in my head:
the heart of the matter
ya gotta have heart
it takes heart
heart of gold
brave heart
heartland
with all of my heart
from the bottom of my heart
heartache
heart sick
heart broken
always in my heart
bless his heart
true heart

i will not keep saying, "he was"

He is gentle, funny, a tease, a flirt, truly guileless, and always in my heart, my eyes.
He has tremendous courage.
He has heart
He never gave up.
He is all heart.

in our joys and in our sorrows...
how curious
how strange
that i would end up using this blog
with and for the heart.

Jonathan Gerritt Peter Paine
because of you, i am slowly becoming a better me

this photo was taken about 25 years ago